The Smiley Chart

So, a week ago Sunday we started some new discipline techniques. Reality is I was having a hard time with Miss M...not really because of her but because of me. I did not have a system for discipline and so when I got frustrated, I was disciplining out of frustration which in turn led to anger and in turn led to nothing positive. After talking with a few friends and one who worked with special needs children ages 3-5, I came up with a new system. After our first week, it really went well and I am excited to see how it continues to work. My friend encouraged me to focus on a few rules, not too many, and to communicate them to Miss M and what the consequences would be. She also suggested a Time Out Box for special toys, and for them to stay in the box for an entire week. This can be used as a consequence for when she does not share or when she does not obey. She encouraged me to do a Smiley Chart or Sticker Chart and give Miss M a goal - if you get 48 Smileys, because we live on the 48th floor, then you get a special treat. These ideas gave me something to run with and it made our week go so much more smoothly. For one, it gave me control and a system that keeps my emotions in control when I get frustrated. Secondly, it gave Miss M a little game - to work on Smileys - and she had fun with it. It also gave her clarity on rules for us to focus on. Our four rules we are focusing on are the following: 1. We will speak kindly to one another - this includes no yelling, no lying, and using our manners (please, thank you, yes mam, yes sir). 2. We will not hit or hurt people intentionally. 3. We will obey authority - this includes God, mama, daddy, babysitters, teachers, and so on. 4. We will share. Next to each rule on the paper, I wrote down examples of what it looks like to break the rules, what a consequence would be, and what it looks like to obey the rule and get smileys. Some of it is self explanatory, but some of it is vague, especially the obey authority rule. So I have lots of examples for that such as... 1. We will pick up our toys within the ten minutes allotted - whatever toy is not picked up goes in the Time Out Box. 2. When Mama says it is time to leave the park, you get two warnings and if you do not come with Mama we will have a consequence from the chart. I also wrote down scripture to back up each rule so I can remind her and myself what God requires of us as His children. This keeps me in check too as it reminds me that parents are to point their children to the Gospel. Miss M understands when she gets smileys - saying thank you or please without being asked to, sharing with the K Man, helping mama or daddy (she has been folding clothes for me:), being obedient at bedtime and not procrastinating, and so on. She also clearly understands the Time Out Box. When I told her about it, she said, "So, if the Minnie video is put in the Time Out Box on Saturday it only stays in there for one day." Smart girl since we start a new chart every Sunday. She got 53 smileys this week and she wanted to eat at her favorite restaurant, Peko-chan's, so we went there after church. The new system really went well for us. I saw her at different times this week wanting to break into a tantrum, but when I reminded her of speaking kindly and started giving her the two warnings, I could see her trying to calm down, trying to control her emotions, so she would not get the consequence. It also worked well for me - it gave me clear guidelines, written down, with Scripture, to keep me grounded and focused on discipline so I was not losing my temper. We will see how week 2 goes. To Be Continued...