Yochien Decision

So, in my last post I alluded to decisions our family was making regarding this new re-found commitment God has given me in motherhood. Some of you thought we were having a third baby. Although I am not opposed to a third baby, now is not the time and I am also not so confident we are meant to have a third baby, so NO, that is not the suspense I have been keeping you faithful blog readers in. We decided to not send Miss M back to yochien this year. If I am honest, I will admit this has been a battle for me in so many areas. The thoughts roaming through my tiny head and heart go like this - If we keep her home, who are we going to play with? Everyone is in pre-school. If we keep her home, how will I have a break? :) If we keep her home, am I keeping her from socializing and making friends? If we send her, is our life going to be stressful every morning with me trying to get her dressed, pack her lunch, yelling at everyone to get going? If we do not send her, will she never learn Japanese? If we send her, will I ever understand what is going on at the yochien? Am I crazy for wanting to be with her when I know I have days I want to pull my hair out? What will people think of us if we take her out? Will they think we are not embracing the culture? Or that we are not making our child tough it out and persevere. You can see the list and thoughts go on and on. We started thinking about this a few weeks ago as we noticed her behavior during summer break was so much better. We still have our tantrums, but we noticed Miss M was significantly more calm and relaxed - more playful, more child-like. We also noticed I was having more fun parenting her - we were running around the city, swimming, playing, picnics, free to make our own schedule, free to sleep in, free from packing lunches. I was more relaxed, she was more relaxed, and our home in general was more peaceful. As it got closer to school, I would ask Miss M leading questions about if she was excited to go back to school. She would always answer no and when I asked why her response would be, "because I would rather play with you and my brother. At school, I just play by myself." As the hubs and I discussed this at length, we asked ourselves what our goals were for yochien and for raising her...what do we pray will come of her and our parenting her. You can imagine these were not light discussions. We were digging deep and God was probing our hearts on so many levels. We decided that two of our main goals for yochien were her language ability and social interaction. We realized we can give that to her in other ways that do not keep her away from mama every day from 9-2. I am not opposed to preschool, but we just felt like every day for such a lengthy time is a bit much for a 3 almost four year old. We wanted her to be a kid, to play, run, be outside, and just be free. She has the rest of her life to be in a school setting, and if I am blessed to stay home, why would I send her to school for someone else to do what I can do here? Basically, with yochien, sports class, music class, BSF, and every day life we were doing too much. We did not have time for down time and we believe she needs that at this age. I need it too. If she does not want to go, and does not have to go, why would we keep doing it, especially when our home is much more smoother when we are not going? This is very counter-cultural as most everyone I know is sending their children her age to some sort of pre-school. But you know what, this is best for us and it is where we believe God is leading. We called her in on vacation this week to sit on our decision. Two things solidified our decision for me. One has been Miss M - on Monday I was taking the kids to the park and she said, "Mama, I am so happy and I have the biggest smile." I asked her why and she responded, "Because I get to stay with you." Then, I was having a conversation with a friend last night. Her children are grown now and as I was talking to her about this decision and wondering if I am doing the right thing. She said, "Shari, I had my children in preschool from ages 3-5 every day for 3 hours. It is still one of my biggest regrets in parenting because you can never get the time back. It goes too fast and soon enough she will have to go to school every day, all day." I started crying on the phone. I realize some people need preschool, some kids love it, some people have to work and send their kids to school. Everyone is different and each family is different. I hope you hear in my blog that if you do things differently in your family, I do not think it is wrong. But for us, this is best. In spite of my fears and wondering what people will think of us, God used these confirmations and the joy of my child to show me we are doing what is best for us. Now, my job is to move forward and enjoy these days.