So, I have to wonder if I am really eight days in on the facebook fast when each day I have "checked" it once a day at night after the kids are in bed. As you can see, it is not going so well, but I am learning a lot. I have not posted anything about my status updates, and I see now that my email box can be fairly empty. As I noticed this, I have asked myself the question, "Do I get significance out of people commenting on my status updates?" I am not sure if this makes any sense to any of you readers out there, but it is a question I pose. Being so far away from a lot of friends and family, you like for your email to be fairly full and facebook provides that. Sure, I delete them all, but it is fun reading stuff throughout the day or having people tell you how cute your kids are. Do I try to puff myself up by reading those nice comments? Do they make me feel good? Sadly they do, just like the not so nice comments make me feel like poo-poo (as we like to call it in our house). So, even though I have not been so faithful in my fast of checking facebook, these thoughts are coming to my mind.
Now, the goal for the next 8 days is no status updates and to not read other people's updates. I know this may sound so silly to many of you reading this, but it is a real struggle for me. Why do I have to know everything that is going on in everyone's life? What did I do before facebook? I would email a personal email (sadly not a hand written letter) or I would call the person and set up a phone date or coffee date. Instead, I stalk facebook pages. For emergency situations, like "did they survive Hurricane Irene", I find no issue with stalking the facebook page. You want to know your loved one is ok. But do I really need to spend my time looking through all of these profiles to see what is going on with this person or that person? Not really. Are there more important things in life? Well, certainly - like rubbing Miyako's back while we watch her morning video during a feed. Yes, we still watch videos in spite of my facebook fast. But we do it together and talk about Charlie Brown for 20 minutes.
Please do not get me wrong - I am not becoming an anti-facebook person. Probably I will be back on there before the end of September. HA! I love how it helps me feel connected to friends or family all over the world. But after awhile, I do have to ask myself what is it doing to me on the inside - is it benefiting me? is it making me compare myself or my kids to other people? am I trying too hard on facebook to look good? am I investing too much time looking into other people's lives rather than focusing on where I am right now? Maybe the next 22 days will tell me...
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4 comments:
oh...do I ever hear you! I struggle with the same thing. It's such an easy temptation to take other's comments (or lack of comments) on such things as a status update to make us feel loved or unloved. It's that desire to fill up that place that only the Lord can fill. I declared my last FB fast that I was no longer going to define my life as a status update, but rather define it by who I am in Christ and cling to that. Knowing that only He can love me, sustain me and provide the "comment" that I really need. SOOOO easy to write all that, but SOOO hard to act on it!
Love you, friend. But, hey, I'm glad I'm the exception (the loved one you just HAD to check on). May have to shut down FB for a while myself. Experiencing similar things/thoughts here too.
I think that I struggle with that, too, but I only blog. I have to remember that the blog is my digital scrapbook. I write the things I want my kids to remember, and me, too, as they age. So who cares what other people think? I care what my kids will think when they are old enough to read it. And that's why I keep it going. I have to remind myself of that when I realize that "no one" has read my blog that I worked so hard to edit and upload photos... but it's not for "them," it's for my family. Ya know? Or am I rambling... speaking of scrapbooks... your next one is 9/11/2011. Egads. I hope it's a "slow news day." Hugs to you.
Shari, thanks so much for your honesty and vulnerability! I can resonate with this struggle in so many ways. Facebook gives me a feeling of community, but I am not sure if it is the true sense of community that crave. I have thought of fasting from FB on more than one occassion, but always talk myself out of it for one reason or another. Praying for you during this time.
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